Current location:	Rotting Alone
Current mood:	Upset - I'm SO Pathetic!
Current music:	I'm Chasing Shadows At Midnight
Entry tags:	life sucks, lists, sickness

[So Alone, So Cold, and Still Dead]
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm so ALONE! *cries* I swear, my mood isn't getting better, it's getting worse! All damn day I've moaned and staggered around trying to plaster that painful smile back to my face. So far, it's not working! Argh! I mean, what the hell did I do to deserve this? All fucking day everyone else is telling me their problems, and when I start on mine to vent, they shun me and say I (?!!) complain too much?! WTF? WFT? WTFWTFWTFWTF?

Top 20 Things to Do (That I Still Haven't Done)

1.) Finish writing/drafts of 4 base English poems, complete with at least 4 backdrops.

2.) Finish that damn worksheet from Bio class and turn in by day classes.

3.) Bake those cookies for [WTC] and [AGR] and hand them into Mrs. Kurger on the way to Locker.

4.) Get the BattleCry slip filled out and give to Courtney. And pack for trip.

5.) Prepare for the Trade Show on March 8-9. DONATE! And COOK!

6.) Finish Art Class projects and drawing drafts. Clay projects all due by Wednesday before Winter Break.

7.) CELEBRATE WINTER BREAK!

8.) Fix scanner and set the account to new user name.

9.) Finish writing plots/stories. At least post something new on names.

10.) Read more TWILIGHT/NEW MOON FanFiction! RELAX! BREATH!

11.) Earn money to go use scanner at Library if not fixed.

12.) BREATH! BREATH! And fix the layout of the "Electic" setting.

13.) Finish having the convers. (aka chat/forum) with Courtney and Ashley. Give Answer!

14.) Try not to forget anything. And re-write the new setting document on the re-run on List. That last one lacked.

15.) QUIT HAVING A SPAZZ OVER COURTNEY! SHE ISN'T WORTH IT! NOOOO! EVEN IF SHE LIES!!!

16.) Quit having a meltdown. Quit having a meltdown. No more stress! Too many white hairs. Doesn't look good w/black hair.

17.) Finish the outline for drafts and newest paintings.

18.) Finish the watercolor art of houses within due date from return on Winter Break.

19.) Spend more time talking to Amanda! Been cutting on MSN. Not good.

20.) Wash clothes and straighten up. I probably won't have time to, but make hair curly. At least take the frizz.

Top 10 New Damn Things That I Have To Do

1.) Get a new life. Get new friends. Get new school and new pair of jeans. Last one ripped.

2.) Hibernate for a few more hours tomorrow. Use Sissy's pillow, big blanket, and books. Read #8, rinse, and repeat.

3.) Get over the flu bug. That and carry around more pocket tissue for runny nose. My health is almost over the hill!

4.) Curl up with a blanket, New Moon, and more fanfiction. Horray! Lea's custom cure to flu days sick from school! YAY!

5.) Take back Library books and try hardest to do book report this year on Twilight. Perhaps, no, more likely NOT.

6.) Try and stiffle TWILIGHT/NEW MOON addiction buy purchasing books near me. I'm getting too jealous when I see someone else with the books from the Library; it annoys me to no fucking end. That, and I have a burning sensation; I want it all to myself. I dunno why, but yeah. I don't share.

7.) Have a good day tomorrow which is impossible, but I still want to try. After all; 4 days from civilization! OMFG! I might lose what little people skills that I have managed to keep this few years. Boo. You whore!

8.) GET MORE SLEEP! HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON 5 TIMES TOMORROW MORNING. AND THEN RUN AROUND LATE. (Repeat as often as needed.)

9.) Feel free to SPAZ over the mother's side of the fucked up family tree. The asses are saying shit to me again.

10.) Go buy more Black Cherry Vanilla Coke/Dr. Pepper. And stock up on the sugar.

~[Note to self: Buy more Easy-Mac. You ate the last package yesterday after school cause lunch was still alive.]

~[Another note: hurry and drink those "UPSHOT ENERGY DRINKS in the fridge. That is what they are for after all, and with my low tolerance, they are bound to work no matter what or whom I manage to drunken with me. BTW, steal Hachi's smokes in her book bag and destroy. Lung cancer; like she doesn't have it already.]



BTW, I asked that Vampire at Southern Mansion (from last post) to bite me... He told me that I couldn't handle forever. But that doesn't mean I won't tempt him into it. If he leaves, I can always coax him back into my life (easily) if he even dares to try and leave. I also said last post: [I wish he would hurry and bite me to give me the rest of eternity to bitch about how I don't have enough time on hand.] Yeah. I guess I still wouldn't have enough time on hand to bitch and complain about. I'm that bitter. On the other hand though; I'm starting to look like a Native American Vampire from the Tepee's Village. LoL. I'm still sickly pale.



Yeah. We all claim to have them; friends. But are they really your "friends?" or are they mere using you into pulling shit in life? According to my adversary, Deep David, "friends" are not all that they make out to believe. Really... my life is shitty. Sometimes, they make my life shitter. LoL.

I always wanted to plot revenge against them, but someone I know and respected said that I was young and time would take care of the rest. Shit. I respect that and that alone is the only thing holding me back. But really... I don't believe I have one true honest friend (besides Anni) that I really trust and never doubt. But then again, I still hold the grudges. They say they love me, but when the look at me like thatm I can see that they are just saying things. The eyes truly are the windows to the soul. But note!

I love you Shay, Kira, Courn, Ashley, Hachi, Prune, Leeny (yes, even you), Cari, Beth, Shonna, and others I come to know. Even if you betray me and leave me alone to rot, I will still love you and stay loyal to you like the ways its suppose to be. To Anni, thank you for everything you have done for me thus far. I will still kiss the ground you walk on even if it was several hours ago; it proves how much I am willing to do for you and love you. I do love you.

Another note; I'm going to Michigan! HELL YEAH BABY! Well not exactly for "visiting" purposes. Battle Cry. If you know what that is; something having to do with the Churches and religion. I'm not really with the Church, but I'm going for all the INDIANS out there! *waves arms around* LoL. Yeah. Perhaps, if you are going, you'll see me; sickly pale looking Native American with purples (bruises) shadows under the eyes. I'll probably be wearing jeans and a hoodie the first day and slacks and a dress shirt on the second day just to look nice and presentable in front of a large crowd of strangers that I don't even know. But maybe, something BIG will happen. But then again... I have bad karma. If anyone is going, please don't count on finding me; I might not even get to come if this flu keeps up. Big concert with P.O.D., Hawk Nelson, Flyleaf and more. I'm going to get Flylead's auto and say hello. And then take off to go see the Great Lakes. I never been out of the bagoons before. Shit. LoL. I like in South Dakota in a Village here people! I'm excited to go and see where the hell the world will take me. I mean, this was sad; I was excited to go see Lincoln, Nebraska. That is just so pitiful. LoL. BTW, I joined the lj community called ne_anime_club cause that is where I go to spend the summers and sometimes weekends. My grandmother lives around in there.

WTC was around. LoL. Once more was I hanging around Locker #167 and complainning about the rights of a flute and clarinet, piano to the judges and music teachers. We too can Jazz Band, damn straight! I brought cookies, the peanut butter ones cause the now-dubbed "double choco-chip cookies" looked alive, and I very much have my doubts that I will get the pan back that I brought them in.

Kira kept teasing me that Tory was my enemy after I ran into in the Home Ec. room. She still thinks, or at least likes to think, that I like Daniel, and want him, so his girlfriend; Tory, is now my enemy. Wow. The rambles of a high school girl. Bet you didn't see that one coming. I know! I don't let off as some short of high school wanna be pimp or pimpet. LoL. I'm the label of quiet, shy artist/writer. Nope. Not at all. I'm the "once-was-a-formally-known-wild-and-crazy troublesome-Native American-teen-who-used-to-raise-hell-back-at-her-old-school." Yup. Me in a nutshell. Actually, I don't think the population even knows the real me here at this new school. Boo.

News on Lady-in-Spandex: For all you hot Lady-in-Spandex fans; let us know: HE WAS FREAKING AT SCHOOL TODAY! HORRAY!



I'm going to hibernate. Later losers. :D